he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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