I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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