I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize