I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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