Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
A+ Viking dick
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
