he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize