Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize