Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize