When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize