She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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