Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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