do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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