I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
nutella sex= disaster
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.