we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
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Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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