moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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