he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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