Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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