quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My balls are so social today.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
