If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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