the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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