I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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