I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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