Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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