It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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