it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You pole danced in your parka.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
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