had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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