This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis