Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."