Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism