yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
They took my balls.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
