dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.