I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
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Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??