He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
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Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.