My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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