Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
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It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
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My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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