Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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