Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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