Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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