Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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