'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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