Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
