P.S. I can't hear my feet
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
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i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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