I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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