singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
