last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize