I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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