Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
