pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize