after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have fence marks all over my body
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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