does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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