Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
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