Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
