i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
