No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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