that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.