so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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