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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

  Fav 19 3778 1062

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she kept yelling 'call me bella'

  Fav 54 1150 5622

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.

  Fav 15 3316 1140

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• (206): View more from Washington

  He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom

  Fav 25 1747 4605

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?

  Fav 5 2976 1280

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.

  Fav 18 5327 1506

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex

  Fav 14 1360 4754

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.

  Fav 28 5802 2803

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.

  Fav 8 5933 1181

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree

  Fav 3 2231 1070

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!

  Fav 4 1907 704

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..

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• (347): View more from New York

  My day in three words: secret purse cake

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats

  Fav 1 36 38

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.

  Fav 3 27 39

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