Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I don't want you to recite the pledge!

(631): View more from New York

Pledge alligien to america to united states of america

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(631): I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge. (401): I don't want you to recite the pledge! (631): Pledge alligien to america to united states of america http://tfl.nu/s7dx

Replies (20) Good night (3757) Bad night (943)
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(847): View more from Illinois

The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious

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(847): The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious http://tfl.nu/2wct

Replies (37) Good night (5092) Bad night (812)
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(716): View more from New York

i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...

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(716): i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward... http://tfl.nu/0sye

Replies (14) Good night (667) Bad night (4656)
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(516): View more from New York

i have one question about last night

(646): View more from New York

if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain

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(516): i have one question about last night (646): if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain http://tfl.nu/69sr

Replies (4) Good night (4414) Bad night (990)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.

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(910): I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive. http://tfl.nu/9t3w

Replies (13) Good night (4540) Bad night (1113)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

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(612): Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you http://tfl.nu/lizp

Replies (7) Good night (2837) Bad night (899)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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(623): Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds. http://tfl.nu/ovdt

Replies (9) Good night (1123) Bad night (4175)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?

(1-503): View more from Oregon

yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.

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(503): I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan? (1-503): yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case. http://tfl.nu/ztrg

Replies (1) Good night (1412) Bad night (770)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.

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(248): Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'. http://tfl.nu/4pwa

Replies (10) Good night (5636) Bad night (922)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.

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(513): I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate. http://tfl.nu/sg11

Replies (4) Good night (881) Bad night (1869)
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(516): View more from New York

He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him

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(516): He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him http://tfl.nu/fil7

Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (641)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.

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(505): I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single. http://tfl.nu/1f65

Replies (10) Good night (1736) Bad night (619)
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(226): View more from Ontario

He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys

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(226): He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys http://tfl.nu/z52q

Replies (1) Good night (690) Bad night (360)
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(847): View more from Illinois

But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football

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(847): But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football http://tfl.nu/c4fc

Replies (6) Good night (915) Bad night (459)
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(925): View more from California

Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.

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(925): Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy. http://tfl.nu/3c9o

Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (315)

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